The Fallacy & Exhaustion of Self Improvement
“Disappear for X months and work on yourself.” Absolutely not. “Buy my course/book a consultation with me to learn how to [insert some self-improvement topic here].” No. “Listen to my/this podcast to learn how to do this.” Boring.
It is not uncommon to encounter content with headlines like these on social media platforms. With our ever-increasing reliance on these platforms and the monetization of just about anything, one of the most questionable trends I’ve noticed is the boom in self-improvement content and the sudden influx of “experts” in this field. At a glance, much of this content seems reasonable. Who doesn’t want to get better in life, whether by improving their confidence, physical health, or relationships? Here’s a question to ask yourself, though: Why is self-flagellation the central theme of so much self-improvement content? Are you a Catholic priest in the 13th century? I am not against self-improvement by any means; what bothers me is the monetized content designed to make you feel like you constantly need to be working on yourself.
Once you get onto that treadmill of improvement without a set goal for when you should get off, it becomes an exhausting drudgery of constantly feeling like there’s something deeply flawed within you that should be fixed. The more you wallow in this destructive idea of “fixing yourself,” the worse you may feel about yourself and the more someone else profits off of you. You will never be “perfectly fixed”; you’re human, not a faulty bicycle.
To actually get better in life or improve the quality of your life, here are some things to consider:
Spend more time with people you love and who love you back. Nothing boosts your sense of worth and belonging like spending time with those who genuinely care about you and whom you care about. You do not need to isolate yourself to “work on yourself.” After all, loneliness is one of the leading causes of death in today’s world. It’s simply ridiculous to think you can improve yourself by isolating yourself from those who care about you. If you don’t have a solid social network nearby, consider volunteering for a cause you care about. Knowing that you can make a positive impact in someone else’s life dramatically boosts your self-worth.
Go on a walk. You don’t need to spend money on an overpriced gym membership or fitness studio classes like reformer Pilates to feel better physically. Just 20 minutes outside does wonders for both the brain and the body.
Spend time in nature. You don’t have to find the best nature park with the most impressive hiking trails to achieve this. Just sitting on a bench at the local park in your neighbourhood should be enough.
Get enough sleep.
Eat a balanced meal. You don’t need to spend the rest of your life eating unseasoned chicken with veggies under the guise of meeting your “daily macro goals.” Enjoy that chocolate. If you have health issues that require special attention, please talk to a qualified health practitioner.
Engage your mind in non-screen activities like reading, painting, photography, knitting, etc. You don’t have to be skilled at any of these; just pick whichever activity brings you the most joy.
Consider journaling.
And more importantly, give yourself and those in your life the grace to be human. If you make mistakes, own them and apologise. Be kind to yourself.
